The Web of Expectations

Previously, we talked about how expectations can totally catch you off guard or feel like a field of landmines that you don’t know are there until you’ve stepped on one!

How can we prevent the relational fallout that comes from feeling like we’ve disappointed others’ expectations or mitigate the disappointment when others don’t live up to our expectations?

Awareness of a situation is often the first step in making it better. We like to refer to the jumble of our expectations as our “Web of Expectations.” They can be sticky, stronger than they look, and can make us cringe when we blindly walk into them!

There are actually two webs we can look at. 

The first is the Web of Expectations we perceive others have of us.

For this web, ask yourself, “Who do I perceive has expectations of me?” And what do you think they expect? These can be things that have appeared in written form (like a contract or a job description), verbal form, or just the things you assume they expect of you.

The second is the Web of Expectations we project onto others.

For this web, ask yourself, “Who do I project expectations on?” Explore that a little further by identifying what do you expect from them? What do you hope they will do or provide or how do you expect them to behave or respond to you?

Once you have have filled out your webs, consider these questions:

• What did you notice?

• What surprised you doing this exercise?

• What expectations do you have of God?

• What expectations do you think He has of you?

• What insights can you take away from the activity?

In our next post, we’ll look at the Anatomy of Healthy Expectations that we can apply to our webs.